Today, I made it to the end.

   I'm not gonna lie, readers, it's been an interesting year. I've done so many things that I only ever imagined; leaving my home, relocating, pursuing acting, singing, dancing, modeling, everything. Though here's the thing, my New Year's resolution for 2013 was to follow through with whatever I say. With this resolution, I followed through; I did everything I said I was going to do. Of course, one of these choices was leaving my home.

     There is never a day that I don't think about my home with family and friends. On the other hand, leaving Winterfell was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I finally got to live the life I have always dreamed about (not being broke with no job; that was a nightmare). Now, as my final resolution, I have made it my duty to visit back home and loved ones across the U. S. Granted, I am very limited on my availability and how much I should spend, but I'll find a way to make it work.

     As I mentioned, there are so many things that I am grateful for, but my gratitude extends to two wonderful people who allowed me to stay over at their place for the New Year; Sheep and Screeching Cat.

     I started my day off around 9 AM. My body was actually up by 7:30 AM, but my mind was not; so I was pretty much in vegetative state. When I finally developed enough will power to get up, I headed up to the kitchen to begin helping out. First thing I did, I made sugar cookies from scratch. Now, when I attempted to make a batch long ago, it was the most disastrous thing ever created; I was positive that one could instantly get food poisoning as soon as it touched their lips. Somehow, though, everything was going fine, aside from the fact that I was baking like I was in the early 1900s.

Screeching Cat: You could have used the Kitchen Aid, y'know?

Asian: ............

Nala: I was actually wondering about that.

Screeching Cat: Or the electric mixer here in the drawer?

Asian: Y'know what, I just felt like going old school! I felt like being Julia Childs today!

Screeching Cat: Julia Childs uses a Kitchen Aid.

Asian: Whateva!

     As soon as I finished mixing the ingredients, I put it away in the fridge for an hour and waited for Screeching Cat to pick-up food. Nala, Screeching Cat's mother, and I grew to be impatient even though ONLY ten minutes had passed and decided to have a couple slices of Persimmon's Bread, that she baked, and cups of coffee. From there, we went out to the back patio, sat comfortably in our chairs, and let the rays of the eighty degree sun warm/tan our bodies. We had such a lovely time just chatting and then my alarm goes off, indicating that the dough was ready for cookie cutting. Screeching Cat's timing could not have been more perfect; he arrived with the food just as we had gotten up. He had been informed about how we couldn't wait for the food anymore since he was being so slow.

     When I got back to my station, I attempted to cut the cookies out, but had forgotten to lay down flour.

Nala: Um, you didn't lay down flour, did you?

Asian: .........Nope.

Nala: That's what I thought. I don't think your cookies are going to come off easily...

Asian: .........Yeeeaaahhhh...I knew I was forgetting something!

     So, Nala had tapped me out and allowed me to eat my two breakfast sandwiches. The shapes of the cookies had turned out fine when she took over and we baked them right away.

     When we had taken care of all the food we could make at the moment, Screeching Cat had wanted to move around the furniture and set it up in the courtyard' to allow space on the balcony and seating near the fountain and by the wall.

Sheep: You're gonna set up the chairs outside?

Screeching Cat: Yeah! So that people have a place to sit and talk outside.

Sheep: But Honey, we're in California.

Screeching Cat: It'll be fine.

     Without heeding his warning, Nala, Screeching Cat, and I continued moving chairs and tables. Now, moving these pieces did not involve us carrying them into another room. Instead, Screeching Cat had developed a pulley system using a dog chain to secure the furniture as he lowered it down rom the balcony. Then I looked over to my right:

Sheep: *sigh*

Asian: It wasn't my idea! This is your husband's doing!

Screeching Cat: Hi!

     And then he walked away.

     As soon as we managed to move out all of the chairs and tables, I volunteered to sweep so that Screeching Cat could arrange everything as he pleased. Worse decision ever.

     Readers, you may not know this, but they live in a mansion. So I had to sweep from top-to-bottom: rooftop, stairs to the rooftop, balcony, patio, four sets of stairs to he patio, and a sitting area next to a mini fountain. Not only was a I killing my back and giving myself the most intense arm workout known to mankind, but I was dying in the heat. There came a point that I took off my shirt, not to show my horrific, flabby body, but to assure myself that I did not end up having a heat stroke. Whoever said that slavery and indentured servitude lied. Educators are obviously misinforming the youth of America.

     As time had drawn nearer to the party, we hustled and popped in whatever needed to be cooked so that everything came out fresh. Mind you, the food we made were mostly finger foods due to the fact that we were serving up courses for the gays.

     Most of you have probably seen me eat and some more than likely not. I am not the person you want to compare anything against. Everything about me is off; I'm not cold, this isn't spicy, yatta yatta yatta. Basically, I am the worst gay ever; especially when it comes to food. When I watch what most gays eat, I feel like I'm witnessing these men starving themselves to death or close to dying of malnutrition. Granted, I understand this whole concept of eating healthy, but really, as long you stay active, you're body will do just fine; sometimes I just want to shove a steak down their throats. Any who, the point of this observation is that I eat like a pig. You throw food in front of me, it's gone. You have enough food to be able to fit into your hands, I have enough to feed an African village. But do I care? Absolutely not! Say what you will, but don't you dare get between me and my food.

     When we had finally finished cooking everything and prepping the table, the hour had come to finally greet the guests into their home. As Nala and I hovered around the background, we just found ourselves lounging and relaxing, waiting for midnight to strike so that we could go to sleep. Don't get me wrong, readers, I did have pleasant conversations with some people, but nothing I would call "blog worthy"; just a good time for me.

     So when the clock hit that time, I finally had my first New Years kiss.

     Did I skip some parts leading to that? Yes. But that was intentional. All you need to know is that I had a kiss.

     With that in mind, I can't wait for what this new year has to offer me and to what adventures I'll have the opportunity of exploring.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, READERS!

Sincerely,

An Asian

Today, I became the unthinkable.

     As a child, I always wondered what it would be like to be famous, to be a model. I had looked through various magazines of Vogue, Vogue Italia, Harper's Bazaar and seen what male models appeared like; Greek Gods. Growing up, I never had that confidence because I used to be fat. You may be thinking to yourselves, "What? You used to be fat? No way! You're lying!" No, readers, I was indeed fat; my mama just knew how to dress me well. So my body image and the image the American society has set as a standard for what male models must look like always brought down my self-esteem and only ever let this be wishful thinking. Until today.

     I had received an email stating that I had been chosen for a charity fashion show as one of the models. Shock. My mind could not comprehend this fact. I mean, I have never looked as great as I do today, but I know that I still have some work to do before I could ever consider my body to be model ready. Still, though, I replied with a definite, yes. Little did I know, this was going to be an experience of a lifetime.

     To start off, Siri is on crack. I don't even use the past tense, was, because she's still on crack. When I arrived to "The Show", Siri had informed me that my destination was to my right. False. It was not on my right. On my right was, which I'm very positive about, a commencing drug deal in front of a run down apartment complex. Either these people were trying to play me or it was the day I was finally going to get mugged, shot, and/or sexually assaulted. As soon as I parked, at the top of a hill mountain, I had walked down questioning whether or not I should turn around and go home. Then I saw the crowd of people and the venue itself.

     When I walked up, I was greeted by the Creative Director, France. You know those movies where there'd be that one character that recites a phrase at the end of everything they say; they exist. France's special word was "Fashion".

"Are the models ready? Fashion."

"I love your outfit. Fashion."

"Ok, we need to go downstairs? Fashion."

"Fashion!"

     As cooky as this may sound, he was still an amazing person to work for; full of fun and energy. I didn't know what to expect, especially since this was my first runway show. There has always been this imagination where I thought the models would be bitchy, catty, and stand-offish that I worried every time a took a step near them. Throughout the evening though, I learned how down-to-earth these ladies really were; they were nothing like how society perceives models. In actuality, there were only two guys that disgusted me.

     In meeting the ladies and some of the gentlemen, I thought that this was going to be a very laid back and fun fashion show. Then these two blockheads arrive; the Tweedles. Everything about them was very stereotypical; they're approach to the job, how they treated the women/designers, their "masculine" personality. They were the worst.

     When I first met them, I overheard the following conversation:

Tweedledee: Oh, hey man! Check out that chick. Look at that ass!

Tweedledum: Mm! She's really fine too. Look at that body!

Tweedledee: Yeah, I'd like a piece of that.

     Um, sorry boys, but you can't treat women like a piece of meat; this isn't the early days, we've progressed from that, you should too. But of course, it got better.

Tweedledee: Do you know how much we're getting paid for this?

Asian: Um, nothing? It's a free event.

Tweedledee: What?! Um, no. There is no way in hell that I would have done this for free!

Tweedledum: Yeah!

Tweedledee: Are you sure that we don't get paid?

Asian: Yeah.

Tweedledee: Do you know if we get credit for this?

Asian: I'm pretty sure. They're gonna take our pictures and I think there may be a dvd copy of the show.

Tweedledee: Oh, ok then. Then I probably remember submitting for this because I don't do anything free; it has to be paying or give me credit.

Asian: Ah, I –

Tweedledee: Yeah, but I don't remember submitting for this...you sure we don't get paid?

     Needless to say, their level of professionalism was nonexistent. So not only did they treat the girls like meat, they were also pissed off that they were doing this event for free. Boys, reality check, you are in the fashion industry. Yes, the girls may be hot, but they are your coworkers; have some dignity. I'm sure your mama did not raise you like that! Then came the tipping point.

France: Hey boys, this is another one of the designers, Arab. Fashion. He's got clothes downstairs and needs help bringing stuff up. Fashion. How many people do you need? Fashion.

Arab: Just one.

France: Fashion. So which one of you guys can help him bring up his stuff? Fashion.

     Now, France was not looking at me at all. I know this because I was watching his eye contact gazing upon the Tweedles. Why, you may ask? Well, they obviously had larger biceps than me. I definitely had the better body, but their biceps were so much better than mine. When I looked over at them, they immediately looked away from the designers and seemed as if they were trying to force the other to go help because neither one wanted to. It was at this point that I swiftly volunteered. Funny thing was, Arab only had one rack of clothes and it wasn't even that heavy. Finally, it had come to the point that I was over their negative and horrific attitudes.

Assistant: I want you to wear this. *hands Tweedledee a sequin blazer*

Tweedledee: Naw man. I need something else? I can't wear this. I'm not comfortable wearing this.

     Hold up! Did you just deny a designer's clothing?! Get out. You would be kicked out of the show if you were modeling for a top designer like Posen or Kors and had an attitude like that. Moeling is not about what makes you comfortable, it's about the client. I understand if somebody has morals or standards, but that would only ever be an issue of crosses certain boundaries and ethics. It's not like he was asking him to be nude or to make out with another male model.

Assistant: He doesn't want to wear this.

 Ms. Designer: Why not?

Tweedledee: I don't feel comfortable in this. It's whack.

Ms. Designer: Why don't you feel comfortable in this?

Tweedledee: I don't know... I just don't.

Ms. Designer: Here, try it on. See, it looks great on you!

     She eventually got him to say yes, but then he didn't end up wearing it because he was being a diva again to Mr. Designer. Then, of course, there's Tweedledum's.

Arab: Would you be comfortable wearing underwear?

Tweedledum: Just underwear?

Arab: No. You'll also be wearing a jacket on top.

Tweedledum: Um, not really.

Arab: You sure? I mean, I don't want you to do something you're not comfortable with, but are you sure?

Tweedledum: Yeah, no. I'm not comfortable doing that. I can't do it.

     Granted, I did just say that I had the better body, but he wasn't fat or anything; he was just bulky. Still, it was really annoying that he wouldn't walk for this designer because as an unknown model, you want to walk for as many designers as you can. Who knows, you may be walking for the next big designer known to mankind.

     Anyway, it was already 10:30 PM and I've been there since 4:00 PM. I was dying and losing steam. My youthful innocence started to dissipate due to the fatigue the other models and myself were experiencing, but most of us kept it together. When it came time to walk, I was so scared. I had talked with a few of the female models, Arab, and a hair stylist. They were kind enough to give me tips and support for my first runway. What was especially nerve wracking was the fact that in my first show, I opened for a designer. Fear knew no bounds. I trembled and quaked before I hit the runway.

     As soon as I finished my walk, Pita, the hair stylist, congratulated me on my walk. Then I quick changed into my next outfit. After that, we did our final walks and I changed into my last outfit for the evening. I did my final walk and had a quick pictorial with France and was ready to leave. As I was packing my things and saying my goodbyes, I traded information with various designers, models, and Pita. She was definitely one of my favorites that evening because of the hope she gave me.

Pita: You are so humble and sweet and you worked it out on the catwalk! I can't wait to see you grow and be a top model. I know that I'll see you in LA Fashion week soon!

     If you told me that I'd be a model when I grew up, I would have laughed at your face. There would have been others that would have done the same thing. Modeling, for me, was always just wishful thinking. What this experience has taught me, though, is that dreams do come true if you try. As long as you don't give up on yourself, others won't give up on you. So stand strong, readers, and follow your hearts! And know that you have at least one person that believes in you; me.

     Here's to more future adventures and experiences!

Sincerely,

An Asian

Today, I realized how out of shape I am.

     I auditioned for the Disney Cruise Lines. Now, I've been on a cruise and know the quality of their shows. In my mind, I thought that I was capable of performing at a decent level and getting me that nine month contract. During the audition, every hope and dream I had was shattered.

     To prepare for this audition, I did a nice little warm-up, some extensive stretches, and brush-ups on technique. The styles I had to keep in mind were musical theatre, ballet, and tap. When I first decided to audition, I thought that I would have this in the bag; I could rock two styles and be sub par for the third. So I didn't think much of what I would be doing. This didn't stop me from completely warming my body, though, so as to avoid embarrassing cramps during the audition.

     We started with Musical Theatre; Newsies. I thought this was gonna be easy. WRONG! The moves were intricate, the counts were fast, and I was dancing in socks on a hardwood floor. All of this just wreaked with disaster. The worst part, every phrase we did, there was always some sort of leap. We would walk, then leap, then turn, then leap, then pose, then leap, leap, LEAP! It got to the point that my high kick at the beginning of the piece, and audition, slowly started to lower farther and closer to a ninety-degree angle due to muscular fatigue. When I started to feel this way, I was very glad for two things:

1. That I did not eat breakfast. I was starting to feel sick and close to throwing up, but I luckily had nothing to throw up.

2. That I FINALLY remembered to bring a water bottle to an audition. If I did not have that water bottle, I would probably end up on a stretcher in the back of an ambulance on my way to the unwanted service and doctor's bill awaiting my arrival. No joke.

     So on top of feeling this fatigue, I was having a hard time keeping up with the choreography. Things weren't piecing together fluidly, I was forgetting steps; it was a disaster. So then comes the actual audition. Mind you, only twenty minutes has passed at this point, twenty minutes. At this point, my body was ready to give up and throw-in the towel. Bt my mind was strong and I was determined to show the panel what I had. Then horror had struck. I was everywhere, literally everywhere. There was a couple of times that I was encroaching on the other auditioner's space and one directly at the end where I had almost smacked the guy, behind me, in the face as I opened up my arms not because it was the choreography, but for the joy that I survived and didn't end up killing anybody with my monstrous movements. It was then that we were asked to do it again and I was told:

Tap Judge: Can you make sure to stay in your own space this ?

     Oh. Dear. Lord. Kill me now. I thought it was bad enough the first time, I didn't want to see what happened the second time through. So come second round, I had improved. I remembered the choreography a lot better than before and I didn't almost kill anybody. Score! Then came ballet. I was terrified as to what combination this woman had created.

     When we went through the choreography, it actually wasn't bad; it was one of the easiest combos I have ever learned. Except, this one had a plethora of turns. I felt like I was on a never ending carousel; we just kept turning every time we had the chance. It was kick, turn, then leap, turn, now walk, then double turn. I thought that I was going to throw up all the water I had previously consumed from the prior experience of hell. Still, though, it wasn't as bad. If anything, I would have given my performance an eight out of ten; minus two for lack of point in my feet and technique. Then we had to demonstrate one of my worst nightmares: Fouette a la Seconde.

     Readers, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, Google it. It's the worst. Basically, I was just a spinning top of death. At first, Choreo Woman just had our legs up in second and hopping around; that, I was fine with. The rest of the judges, on the flip side, had other things in mind. So when we started, I was doing well for the first three turns. Slowly and slowly, though, I saw myself creeping up to the man I had almost smacked during the first round of auditions. I knew that I was not his favorite; heck, I wouldn't like me. It got to the point that I was starting to get so close that if I did one more turn, I would have taken him out with a powerful kick. So, I did my horrible double turn and stopped. I profusely apologized for almost taking him down, again.

Auditioner: Haha. It's ok...

     In his mind, though, he was probably thinking.

Auditioner: You little b****, get the hell out of my face.

     If the first time wasn't enough, they had us do another round. At this point, I was so close to giving up, but I tried again and failed even more miserably than the last. The only difference was that this time, I did a few less turns and cleaned my double pirouette. Did I show them that I could it? Absolutely not.

     We were almost done with the auditions and it had finally come down to the last, most horrible combinations of all: tap. It wasn't the fact that I hate tap, quite the contrary. I admire tap and tappers for being able to create a wonderful rhythm through their feet. In reality, I am horrible at tap. If anything, I went back to being the horrible tapper I started out to be. So come combination, the only thing I could do properly were flaps and bits and pieces of other basics. When it came to presentations, I faked it. You know the saying, "fake it 'til you make it", I was the living embodiment of that phrase; both times. Then they asked if we could tumble. I was done. That, for sure, was something I could not do. So I went in to the other room to change, get my measurements, and the rest is history.

     I could say that this was one of the most horrific experiences I have ever had in my career as a dancer and performer, but it was one of the most hilarious and memorable. If anything, this experience reminded me how out of the game I was and that I needed to get back into serious dance classes. It's not about the gains that you learn from the most, it's your failures.

     So I can't wait for what my future adventures and experiences hold.

Sincerely,

An Asian

Today, I was bullied for the first time.

     Never, in my life growing up, have I ever been bullied. I know what it means and I've seen it on TV, but I've never experienced it for myself. To be honest, I always imagined myself to be the easiest target considering how flamboyant and nerdy I used to be. Though, I still am pretty nerdy, but still.

     So today, I had to explore the emotions that one would have to go through when experiencing fear, pain, and overcoming everything with confidence and strength. It was a challenge for me mentally because I could never imagine anyone being bullied. Like I said, I've never experienced it myself nor have I seen bullying in person. Has there been a point in time where people have made fun of me? Absolutely, but that was all in good gest. Other than that, baring witness to physical abuse or mental trauma were never a part of my life.

     "Then how did you prepare for this role?", you may be asking. Simple, I just did it. I went for it. Just because I haven't been bullied doesn't mean I haven't experienced fear and pain. Those are two very realistic emotions that have helped me gain the strength and confidence of who I am today. So mix that in with my bullied character, you have yourself another person.

     Now, this blog post is not intended to make you feel depressed nor is it any way to have you go into some deep philosophical thinking. It's quite the opposite really.

     Since I'm being bullied, the other two characters do stuff like kicking, gutting, beating, and all around hurting me, but before they can do that, they need to shove me down to the ground. Many were worried about my safety considering how many I've had to fall to the ground and my reactions. Sometimes, I'd kept flailing like a fish because I couldn't hear "CUT". Anyway, as I would "gracefully" fall onto the ground for my unwanted pain, I would land on the same spot; a pile of pebbles and intriguingly smelly plastic bag.

Mike Meyers: How are you holding up?

Asian: Hmm...it smells pretty interesting down here.

     Piss. It smelled like piss. I was pretty sure that a normal person, not even a homeless person, pissed where I was landing. Which brings me to a moment when I was walking toward set. When I walking from the metro toward set, I happened to pass by a man taking a numero dos on a wall. He literally pulled down his pants, squatted up against a wall, and took a dump. Don't know if you people noticed, but there is no such thing as coincidence. This, I should have taken into account because when I fell for the upteempth time, I landed in the soft, chocolatey-ness left behind by the pissing person.

China: Oh wow! I think you have some chocolate on you!

Asian: What?

     As the entire cast and crew were befuddled as to what he was talking about. I decided to grab my left sleeve to examine this said chocolate. Luckily, my hand was half an inch away from the disaster I gazed upon.

Asian: Ohhh...

Mike Meyers: What is it?

Asian: (nonchalantly) I fell upon poop.

Mike Meyers: What?!

China: No, I'm gonna say it was chocolate...Yeah, it was definitely chocolate.

Mike Meyers: Oh my god! Really?! I am so sorry!

Asian: Ah, it's ok. I was bound to find out what that smell was sooner or later. It just so happened to be poop. And I landed on it.

     At this point, the star of the video, singing sensation Catwoman, felt bad and immediately took action. She had gone to the nearest 99¢ store to pick up stain remover and a roll of paper towels.

Asian: It's really not that bad. I can just treat this like a battle scar. On my clothes.

Catwoman: I feel really bad. You're getting beat up and you're landing on ****.

Asian: It's really fine.

     To be honest, readers, there really isn't much that phase me. I have walked long distances, ventured in extreme weathers, stepped in various amounts of unwanted fecal matter, and cleaned vomit; this did not bother me the slightest. This was just a really funny experience.

     If anything, I'd say that I learned more about humility today. I could have gone a different route and been angered by the fact that I fell into this grotesque matter, but I didn't. Being able to make fun of yourself just brings you that much closer to true happiness.

     Here's to more adventures and experiences to come.




Sincerely,
An Asian

Today, I may have scarred some lives.

     As most people may know, today is Halloween. Now, I have been planning for this day for about a week now. By planning, I mean when Panda and I were picking up clothes for her from Goodwill for a shoot, it turned into us trying on various clothing/potential costume shopping. It. Was. Glorious. Amongst these gaudy and "fashionable" clothing of my grandma's clothes, we stumbled upon a couple of gems.

     One of these gems turned out to be the most amazingly stupid ideas I have ever come up with; an Asian Princess Hooker, Kimchi. Initially, Panda and I were going as a pimp and ho; we even got her a costume! Then a good friend of ours looked at the picture of me and told me of how much I looked like Dora the Explorer. This is what came to be brilliance. With Halloween only being a day away, Panda and I had scrambled to figure out what we owned and the supplies still needed to create the final looks for my costume and hers; Boots. We went to our local ghetto-fab Walmart to pick up our items. From there, we spent part of our evening designing our clothes and the morning doing final looks. When all was ready, we headed over to Princess Queenie's extravagant ball.

     Upon arrival at her palace, we acquainted ourselves with her parents, the King and Queen, and her other fabulous guests. When the clock had struck the hour of nightfall, it was time for us to wreak havoc on the streets; Trick-or-Treating. Yes, readers, a twenty-two year old man and other twenty somethings went out collecting candies and goodies from the neighboring palaces. Throughout this evening, people have questioned us (specifically me), given us advice, and given me some awesome quotes.

     As we walked around this magical kingdom, many were confused about who I was. I had received many responses such as:

"Oh!...You look...lovely. Ha...haaa..."

"Well aren't you a lovely...fa...ir...y...?"

"You're a pretty princess."

"Who's Dora the Explorer?"

     Granted, I was in a white ball gown and the only thing that said Dora were my hair and the AWESOME Map I drew and colored in a minute. But still people, Dora the Explorer? Who doesn't know who she is? Have you been living underneath a rock this whole time? I mean come on, I see your TV and cable running in the background, for goodness sake!

     Then came the moments of passing by the interesting palaces. The first palace we came across had a mystery box standing tall in front of the pathway with a sign reading "Hit me." In my mind, all I could think of was being attacked by unsuspecting owners tricking its visitors into thinking we obtain a magical prize. With this mental debate taking place in my head, one of the members in our party ended up hitting it. As I looked around in fear of the surprise attack............nothing happened. So we continued on to the path and arrived at the gate. When the gate had opened, visions of beauty appeared before us:

Party: Trick-o...r...-tr–

Goddess: Why hello there! You all look amazing!

God: So which one of you guys in the group was the first to hit the mystery box in the front?

     Our member boldly raised her hand. I thought she was done for.

God: Awesome! As your reward, you get a special treat.

     She reached into the mystery box to receive her prize. I was gazing upon her face to get an idea of what it was; gooey, sticky, hard, soft? What was it. Then she pulled it out of the box and received a, as in a single, ping pong paddle.

Miss Rabbit: Umm, it's a ping pong paddle...

God: Yeah! There's your special prize! Woo!

     She didn't seemed all that pleased. It seemed as if she would have preferred the candy. I later found out that the palace was known as the Frat Palace; because a bunch of frat boys live there. It made sense. They were the only young, handsome/gorgeous people on this concrete road. Granted, not everyone was ugly, but the ones who weren't were not a suitable age for me to date; ie. they're old enough to be my parents.

     Then we came across the Exorcism Palace. You would think that you were at a church or monastery with all the crosses that were in their abode, but no, it was their palace. When you looked inside, the entirety of one wall was covered with crosses; gold, copper, brass, ornate, glass, big, small, everything. I was afraid that this palace was possessed and that I should steer clearly away from accepting candy from them, but the candy they offered were so delectable. Gave in to temptation? Absolutely.

     As our journey progressed, we encountered some wondrous treats. We received gigantic pixie sticks that was sure to give me diabetes, large chocolate bars, a toothbrush, and my personal favorite; the Asian home. It was so stereotypical that I was in love with this treat. When coming across this foreign palace, I expected to receive regular candy. Instead, we each got lychee in various gelatin flavors. I was flabbergasted. This was not a treat I thought I'd ever receive. Upon further inspection, I thought to myself of how all the little white kids and parents would go about eating this deliciousness. Chances are, they've never seen anything like it.

     With our journey nearly coming to an end, it was about time that people questioned us, especially myself. When we approached the various palaces, I simply kept to myself, had Panda talk for me, or talk in a high pitched voice that made you wonder if I was really a little girl. It wasn't until one house that I decided to just drop the ball.

Party: Trick-or Treat!

Elder Woman: Oh! Well look at all of you! You all look so darling! Here's a treat for you.

Asian: Thanks...

     After receiving my gift from heaven, I had promptly turned around and began walking away. When all of a sudden I hear.

Elder Woman: "Oh, you're wel – Omg, was that a man?!"

     Yes, viewers, I had tricked an old woman into thinking that I was a little girl. How I did that I will never know. Seriously, I didn't even try to look like a girl; all I had was the dress and wig. Then came the best part; teenage girls.

T-Girl 1: Wait, is that a boy?

T-Girl 2: I think it is.

     At this point, the third T-Girl try to go all up on my face and ask:

T-Girl 3: ARE YOU A BOY?!

     Girl, get out of my face! I don't want you accidentally kissing me! I'd end up in JAIL! As I avoided direct eye contact with them, I simply shook my head and scurried along. We had encountered these girls again at another palace.

T-Girl 1: Wait, seriously, is that a dude?!

T-Girl 3: I don't know anymore! I'm so confused!

     Needless to say, I'm sure I made them question reality and how they perceive the world. That, and I was subtly teaching them the importance of discerning between a man and a woman. Sort of. It was dark, so I probably would have done the same thing. I probably wouldn't have made a big scene about it though.

    At the end of our journey, these two little boys wanted to give us all candy before their mother forced them into bed. Like, she called us over and asked us to trick-or-treat at their palace so the boys would be happy. It was adorable.

    As we ventured home, we passed by a palace we had already received treats from, but insisted we take more since they had plenty of leftovers. To which the man of the house proclaimed:

Man: Aren't you guys a little old to be out trick-or-treating? Shouldn't you guys be at a bar instead?

     Sir, if this was your way of providing me with free alcoholic beverages, then by all means, please do. We certain that was him aim.........not really.

     At the end of the day, it was nice being a child again. Even though I may have scarred some children and people. I may be the reason why kids grow up gay/lesbian. Whatever. All I know is, I had an awesome time with friends and this was an experience I would have never had in the snow trenched depths of Winterfell.

     Here's to having more experiences and adventures!

Sincerely,

An Asian

Today, I have officially become a hobo.

     I am a collector. Though, a better word to describe me is a hoarder. It could be anything: clothes, papers, games, etc. In today's case, it was clothes.

     When Panda and I decided to go to Smiley Face Shop, I noticed a gray sweater on the ground of the desolate garage floor as we drove down. I wanted to check it out, but we agreed that if it were still there by the time we got back, I would take it. Well, three hours later, it was there.

     So we park the car in the middle of the driveway, I go out and pick up the sweater, and bring it back in the car with me. I don't think I have ever hit rock bottom to the point that I would bring myself to pick up a potentially diseased article of clothing to keep for myself...until today...

     To be fair though, it was a pretty good looking sweater, Panda and I decided to just share it since we couldn't figure out if it were meant for a man or woman. Life is taking an interesting turn while living here in Storm's End.



Sincerely,
An Asian

Today, I had an LA experience.

     This weekend, I had the wonderful opportunity to work on a music video fro Jeremih. For those of you with blank faces on your face, Youtube him. I know you heard "his song" at least once. It was so much fun filming this for the past two days and I've met some pretty wonderful people.

     I can't give out any details about the music video, but what I can say is that you'll see it around November. Let's just say that I got to be a pretty classy person. Even though I was Effie White'd from being a singer to a dancer, I was fine with that. Lord knows that I enjoy dancing way more!

     Now, here's where the real LA experience begins. Before moving from Winterfell, I've joked with people, though speaking the truth, that I can't look, smile, and greet strangers the way I would normally do there, here. So it all happened when Panda and I were walking home from our favorite boba place, Boba Time.

     After an intense workout it was for us at least, we decided to treat ourselves to some lovely boba. Now, we've walked this route many times at night and coming home to a quiet neighborhood and an apartment complex that won't let us in to the building because there is something majorly wrong with the door. Now this last bit of information about the door, is important. Take note.

     Anyway, we walked home the path we usually took. This time, a random white car stops in the middle of the road, next to the Metal Primate, and whips around. When said car did that, I looked over and saw a man staring straight at us. I gave it no further thought, thinking that he had decided to turn around to get parking so he could enjoy his time inside the bar. Then Panda and I got to a certain point when we stopped talking. As we walked in silence, I could hear footsteps trailing behind us and the jingling of keys.

     Curious as to who was behind us, I turned to Panda to "talk to her" when I did said thing so that I could peripherally see who was there. Lo and behold, it was the bald headed Hispanic man I saw earlier in the car. He gave me a bad vibe, so I knew that we needed to speed up. When we got to the crosswalk, a van pulled up at the stop sign. I was ready to run across if it decided to continue sitting there doing God knows what while they were driving.

     When I sprinted across with Panda following suit, the sketchy man decided to run diagonally from the opposite crosswalk so that he could intercept us. When I got to the door, I punched in the code hoping to God that for once in it's miserable life it would open without fail and let us in. In my mind, I was also hoping that when we got in, Panda would make sure to close the door behind us. Apparently, we were on the same wavelength because she thought the exact same thing. When we got inside, he stopped in front of the door, paused to look at us, and went off walking to his next victim.

     Needless to say, we were almost mugged if you weren't following along. Yes. Now, don't think that I wouldn't have been able to defend myself. Oh dear no, I can. I may look vulnerable, but I am a deadly fighting machine. I mean, I am Asian after all.

     In the end, my heart beat faster than it has ever don before and we made it out alive. Oh life experiences, if you decide to throw a curve ball like that, please don't involve us. It doesn't help with the stress levels of having to live in a place where people can't drive.



Sincerely,
An Asian

Today, I finally died.

     This weekend, I was given the privilege of being a part of a short film filled with action, drama, adventure, and……………ZOMBIES! For you readers that don’t know, one subgenre of a movie I have ALWAYS wanted to be in is a zombie flick. Today’s shoot first out of three definitely falls into the category of productions I thoroughly enjoyed.

     To start off my adventure, I had to get ready by five o’clock in the morning so that I could be in Powder Canyon by six. The distance between where I live and the destination is about thirty miles. With this in mind, I decided that I would stay at my relatives’ house, about 12 miles away, so that I could walk to the shoot and not have Panda drive me at an ungodly time like this morning or have to ask my relatives for a car. In hindsight, this was a fantastic plan. I thought that I would not trouble anyone and I would get my exercise for the weekend. Then we arrived…sort of…

     Siri had a funny way of bringing us to our location…of death! Six o’clock in the morning was dark. So as we were driving down the road, Siri told us that the destination was about half a mile away as we drove by a line of cars.

Asian: I think that was the entrance…

Panda: Siri says that it’s just up the hill.

Asian: Ok…

     I should have listened to my gut because when we arrived at said destination, it ended up being the place where I would be brutally murdered. There were two small, stone pillars on my left and the ledge of the cliff on my right. Needless to say, I was prepared for the zombies, Jason, cannibals, anything to take me right then and there.

Asian: Today’s the day I finally die.

Panda: Today’s the day we both die!

Asian: What in the hell is this place?! Is Siri expecting us to go over the mountain?

Panda: I don’t know, but I don’t like this!

Asian: We should head back to where the cars were…

Panda: And you were planning in walking in this?!

Asian: ……………

     If you didn’t know this about me, readers, I enjoy walking…sort of. I do it so that I don’t bother people for a ride. Living in a place (my home) where everything was basically fifteen minutes away from wherever meant four to five hours in walking. In other words, exceptional walking distance; for me, that is.

     When we went back to the gates, where the cars were at, we noticed that they opened and a trail of dust was floating in the air. So we went in. As Panda drove, we looked around and took note of the haunting trees looming around us as we despaired in the thick of night. In a way, it reminded me of the horrific Snow White ride in Disneyland.

Panda: This is horrible! Zombies would come crawling out in this place!

Asian: I guess this is why they chose to shoot it here. It makes sense.

Panda: This is where people get killed! Jason could be hiding behind the trees right now!

Asian: And to think this is what I’m going to be walking in for the next couple of days…ha…haaa…………

     We eventually made it to the parking lot and Panda dropped me off. As we waited for things to start rolling, the lot of us started conversing.

Leon: So where are you from?

Asian: Alaska.

Everyone: Alaska?!

Georgia: So that’s why you’re not freezing!

Asian: This is a blessing in comparison to the usual heat wave.

Georgia: It’s sixty degrees!

Asian: Again, a blessing.

Ms. Lovegood: Wow, I can’t believe you’re not freezing! You’re in shorts and a t-shirt and I’m all bundled up!

     In their defense, I can understand why sixty degrees is cold. Because Winterfell is a dry area, cold conditions don’t have a horrible affect on our bodies until it drops below certain temperatures. Whereas Storms End has a considerable amount of humidity, which allows for cool air to chill the surrounding area to make it feel like we were tossed into a freezer. Eventually, the sun started to rise and the area started to warm up.

Ms. Lovegood: Good thing it’s cold out or else the snakes would be coming out.

IT: Actually, rattlesnakes are commonly found in cool areas.

Georgia: Yeah, so they can see their prey with their heat sensors.

IT: With the sun coming out, it’s actually more likely that we’ll see them laying on the road to take in some sunlight before they hideaway.

     I had forgotten about the existence of snakes in this region.

Leon: Mountain lions roam around this area too, right?

IT: Yup.

     And that…

     Growing up in a region where all I had to worry about were moose and the occasional bear was a godsend. Why, you may ask? Because they’re large; I can see them from a distance. A mountain lion on the other hand will perch in its place and ninja itself until the perfect moment to pounce on my voluptuous, Asian spiced body. As for the rattlesnake, I won’t be able to spot it until I unknowingly step into its territory because it’s so small. In other words, I would take strong and in charge over the silent assassins any day.

     When the sun had finally set in the sky, the make-up artist had finally made it to the site after experiencing the same horrors we all faced. Needless to say, I was extremely happy because I finally got to become the undead! But then we had to relocate to another park because of laws and such. This park was definitely more frightening due to the sign warning travelers of the dreaded rattlesnakes.

     Fast forward to the next day, we changed location and were in a park. At first, I though it was going to be pleasant and that it would be a relaxing shoot. Apparently, the park was only the setup area. The actual location was in hell.

     Over the hill and across the road, the location of our next few scenes was a barren wasteland filled with dead plants that haven’t seen water in what seemed like centuries. The sun was hovering over the sky as the heat intensified, dehydrating our undead bodies. It was miserable. But as a performer, I stuck it out. Not once did I complain, but when they offered water, you better believe that I took them up on that, especially when they offered shade.

    Toward the end of the inferno, I noticed a molted snakeskin on the ground. My nerves skyrocketed because all around I found holes and burrows that would be potential hiding places for these creatures. What was especially unnerving was when they told us to go into the bushes as our starting positions. When Apollo finally rode his chariot over the mountain, our day had come to an end. I wasn’t needed for the final day of shooting, but the two days I spent with these people let me create some wonderful memories and bonds.

     When Panda picked me up from my relative’s home, we were off to Kimchi Village. And as we were headed home, near death experience number five happened.

     In my life I have had only four near death experiences. The amusing part is that they were all water related; drowning, drowning, drowning, and almost sliding off the road winter. Today was different. Instead, I almost died on land.

     As we’re driving down the long winding highway, a flat piece of metal suddenly pops up out of nowhere and crashes onto the front of the car. Panda slowed down her driving which in turn caused the sheet to slide down underneath her car. Heroically, a woman pulled up next to us and stopped the cars behind her.

Lady Latina: Are you guys alright?

Asian: Yeah, we’re fine.

Lady Latina: Ok! Now, open your door and take out this thing!

Asian: Yup!

     Luckily, it wasn’t jammed underneath Jacob, so pulling it out was easy. The hard part was finding a place to put it.

Lady Latina: Where are you gonna put that?

Asian: I don’t know, but I can’t just leave it out here for someone else to crash into it.

     So I checked my surroundings and noticed a spot on my right. What was problematic was that we were three lanes over on the left.

Lady Latina: Tell your friend to follow me! I’ll block traffic!

     I did as she said and so did she. She honked her horn and created a pathway for me to walk and for Panda to follow. I set down that piece of metal where no one else would get hurt. I didn’t have time to inspect it; to find out what it had come off of due to Lady Latina and her gang waiting for me to jump back into Jacob. What I did notice were the hinges on one of the sides, which meant it had fallen apart from a vehicle; a moving van.

     In the end, I would say that I had a most adventurous weekend. As I journey through these lands for the next couple of years, I know there will be even more amazing adventures to come.

Sincerely,

An Asian

Today, I went to the happiest place on earth...sort of.

     We woke up at 6:30 am to get ready. I was proud of myself. It was weird walking out to dusk because we’ve been leaving when the sun is high up in the sky, burning us away. When we arrived in Anaheim, it took us about an hour to get there, which was odd because I remember it taking about two. But I wasn’t complaining! The great start of my day was when I received my Disneyland pass for $70, $22 cheaper than the original price. Score!

Asian Girl: Have you guys already bought your tickets yet?

Panda: Um, no.

Asian Girl: Oh, well I have this pass and I can’t use it. I want to sell it since my boyfriend couldn’t come. I promise that it works! I’ll even come inside with you guys just to prove it!

Asian: Well, I only have $70 in cash.

Asian Girl: I’ll take it. I can come with you guys just prove it works?

Asian: It’s fine. I see that expires today. I can take your word for it.

     So I pretty much took a leap of faith with this girl. But I’m glad that I did. I paid a cheaper entry fee that was valid as a PARK HOPPER! Which meant I saved like $67. I was a happy camper indeed. Then we entered Disneyland half an hour early; the lines were getting long.

     Throughout the day, we went on rides, saw shows and was just entertained. We made all but three rides, only because I thought it was closing at its usual time; midnight. Because it was Labor Day weekend, the park closed one hour earlier. Now, there were some rides that just didn’t seem fitting for the land we were in; Fantasyland.

Roger Rabbit

     The ride itself was a very entertaining ride. I actually wasn’t freaked out by it. Panda told me about how she was troubled by this ride when she was younger and I couldn’t understand why. Then we got to these two very large, clown cutouts the hovered over us.

Asian: See, this ride isn’t so bad?

Clowns

Asian: Mm, that was questionable…

     Other than that, it wasn’t all too bad. This was definitely a good ride to end the Toon Town/Fantasyland adventure.

Mr. Toad’s Wild Adventure

     This was only a two person ride. So everything was fine. At least, so you think! Like Snow White, you thought everything was just peachy. I thought that we had made it to the end of the ride when the Judge is sentencing someone. NOPE. Instead, we entered hell.

Asian: Well that was a nice ride!

Panda: Yeah. It wasn’t as ba–

The doors opened to what we thought was the end; Hell

Asian: What is this?! Why is there a devil in front of us?!

………

Asian: Where are we?!

………

Asian: I thought this ride was over?!

………

Asian: no! No! NO!

     Needless to say, this ride was scary, but I don’t think as bad as Snow White.

Snow White

     The first ride we went on was Snow White’s Adventure. We made it to the end of the line and these two girls in front of us wanted to sit in the front, but had to sit in the back.

Girl 1: I want to sit in front.

Girl 2: Yeah, me too.

Girl 1: Do you guys want to go in front of us?

I immediately responded with

Asian: Nope.

     Not the answer they were looking for. They weren’t young enough for me to allow them the pleasure of sitting up front (teens). But why any sane parent would allow their child to sit in the front of this rode would be beyond me.

     As we got on, they just went ahead and didn’t seat anyone behind us. It was both a good and bad thing. Bad because there was no one there to experience what we experienced, good because they didn’t experience what would have happened in front of them; us, particularly me. Everything was all Honky Dory until we got to when Snow White’s Stepmother changed into the haggard woman. Everything went dark, the trees had horrifying expressions, it felt like they could reach out to you and there was one point when the holographic image of the witch was in your face.

Asian: OMG!!!! What is going on?!

………

Asian: What is this?!

………

Asian: Why is this so terrifying?!

………

Asian: AHHHH!!!!!!

………

Asian: THIS IS NOT A CHILDREN’S RIDE!!!!!!!

     And then we made it out. I believe that the 15 seconds of horror I experienced on this ride was mortifying than the 5 minute experience at the Haunted Mansion.

     Another highlight of the day was when we went "canoeing". Now, it's been awhile since I've rowed, but I'm not that bad. I don't know what happened, but Panda and I were stuck behind two children, toddlers I suppose I should say. We had made it our goal not to get wet; that didn't happen. The children, just kept splashing water on us and somehow, the girl behind me splashed the guide in front of me. Now, I wouldn't blame it on the children. In actuality, it was the mother who splashed all three of us. She was "helping" her kids, but was instead splashing us. He literally showed everybody how to handle the paddle and stroke. She obviously was not paying attention.

     Other than that, I had a very enjoyable time with Panda in the burning, sweaty 100 degree weather that Disneyland had present us. Seriously, sweat running down my back. On top of which, I had people greeting me happy birthday AND one of the employees remembered me. Mostly because I had the birthday button, TBA Shirt, and adorable hat. But we can also say that it was my dashing good looks as well.

I had to shrink

Man or Woman?

On point recreation

Soaking wet; half of my body!

"My Prince"
Why yes, yes I am