Today, I started my journey.

     Leaving a place you call home is hard. I’ve had to do that twice now. Saying goodbye, packing, taking the memories with you; it’s bittersweet. It’s a constant battle of having to move on and wanting the heart to rest. I put my heart through so many emotions when I left Winterfell that leaving Storm’s End started to undo the stitches to those wounds. But I’ll be back! Absolutely!

The journey begins with a trip to The Staff of Flags.

     It was long. I was also very hot. The moment I would turn off the AC, it felt like my lovely 60 degree weather had elevated to 100. I just had to keep alternating and bearing through the tortuous burning sensations.

     When I had finally arrived, I met up with a friend and caught up. He was sick. So the conversation was cut short due to his body’s lack of energy. Curse you body! Then I headed out in search of a place to stay for the night. Normally, I would just stay in my car, but my lovely phone was on the brink of death and I needed it to give me an idea of how to drive up to The Canyon of Grandness. Also, it was mostly so that I could have an alarm wake me up. Readers, I don’t think you know this about me, but I don’t wake up. It’s virtually impossible. For some reason, though, an alarm can get through; most times…

     So I turned to one of the fancy applications my device has and searched for a cheap motel in the area. After perusing through a couple options, I finally decided on one: The Murder Motel. I kid you not, I felt like I was going to be in one of those B-rated horror films that nobody really knows about unless you’re into that stuff.

     First of all, when I followed the directions on my application, it led me to an abandon, run down building. It looked like a slaughter house. I checked and checked my application to see if I had arrived; I did. Now, I wasn’t about to just hop outside of my car and check out if it was it. No. That’s how you get murdered. After finally calming down from the shock of my impending death, I noticed the Murder Motel a hundred feet away. I drove in.

     When I jumped out of my car, I noticed the dimly lit, pastel blue façade. It felt very retro…and scary. Upon entering the lobby of the infrastructure, nobody was there to greet me in the dimly lit room. Pattern? I called out several times and nobody answered. Then I noticed a desktop that was turned on.

  

Was I supposed to sign myself in and pay online?

But then how would I receive the key?

Why is this computer making strange noises?!?!

    

So many unanswered questions.

     Finally, an Indian girl in her early to mid 20’s popped out from behind one of the doors and startled me:

MM Girl: (with an accent) Oh, hello! Sorry, have you been waiting long?

Asian: (quivering) Oh…no… Not too long…

MM Girl: I am very sorry again. What can I help you with?

Asian: I would like a room for tonight, please.

MM Girl: Ok. (typing) We have something available for thirty-five dollars not including tax.

Asian: Perfect! I’ll take it!

     When I finally got into my room. I started panicking. Not only did I feel like there was somebody outside waiting to shove me in and attempt to murder me, but I couldn’t see what horror awaited me inside the room. As I frantically searched for the light switch, I ran over to the lamp next to the bed and flicked it on. Then, I ran to the door and shut it tight.

     I slowly inspected the room: checked to see if the beds were raised, if there were any closets and if so what’s inside, the bathroom. At the end of my investigation, I deemed the area safe. Still, it was a very unsettling aura.

     As the night grew darker, the room felt colder. I attempted to turn on the heater that was in the room, but all it blew out was neutral to cold air. I tried setting it to seventy-six degrees, hoping that it would blow out hot air as I lay in slumber. After doing so, I got ready for bed and headed for possibly the warmest thing in this room. I was wrong. Not only were there only two layers of blankets, their blankets were bed sheets; if I could even call it that. At least my bed sheets back home gave me warmth, I was pretty sure the nice Indian girl drugged me and had me hallucinating that I was underneath sheets. Because all I was feeling was more cold air.

Sincerely,

An Asian

Today, I almost met Jesus.

     Ever since I learned to drive, I have always had the worst and best luck in owning all of my vehicles. My first car, Janice, was a saint. There was a time I had almost run out of gas when my friend and I were driving home from the movies and she was able to make it to the next gas station five miles away. Not to mention how I never got pulled over for driving eight to ten people in a five passenger car. Then there's Poseidon; he was a wreck. A trooper, but a wreck. From the moment I got him, I pointed out all the flaws to my parents and all they said was:

Big Mama: It's fine, anak. You're just overreacting.

Asian: Fine?! Ma! He dies on the road! Like, he just completely gives up on life and wants to die.

Big Mama: It's ok. If anything, we could always sell it later on and get a new car.

Asian: Uh, but the problem with that is that I'm going to get attached to the car no matter how bad he is and then when you tell me to sell it when it gets worse I'll say no! And be stubborn!

Big Mama: Nooooo.

Asian: Yes, ma, yes. It's going to happen. It always happens.

     Was I right? Of course I was! This is my car for goodness sake! And I know myself better than anyone; even my mother should have anticipated this. Poseidon has caused me so much strife I wouldn't even know where to begin. An example of his absolute failure was that during winter time, I did not breathe through my mouth, but through my nose. To do so would result in fogging up my windows. Turn the heater on you say? Well, I couldn't. Were I to do that, he would emit gaseous fumes that I'm pretty sure is toxic to the human body, if inhaled in excess. So your choices: freeze to death or suffer from gas inhalation. On top of which, driving him was a game of Life; the objective of the game is to make it to your destination without dying. These were among the many problems with him. But it gave him character. There are many stories from those that have experienced Poseidon's determination and they were experiences I would never trade. Now, I have Carl.

     I bought Carl as a means to fulfill my desire to travel across the state and discover all the wondrous things this place had to offer. It also gave me the opportunity to visit loved ones. A couple frequently visited loved ones I tend to see are Cat and Sheep in Saint D.

     Carl has been a very good car. He has pushed through from our journeys to Saint Jose and Saint Francis and even the laundry trips to Fanta. But on my last visit down, I was pretty sure he was a goner.

     My check engine light had turned on as I was making my way down. I thought nothing of it and thought of it as a reminder for me to go in and get my oil changed. Well, I had nearly made it to their place; at the base of the hill, to be exact. All of a sudden, Carl was having a hard time driving; he was revving up to 3000 rpm at 10 mph. It wasn't until I had made a wrong turn into a parking lot that when I tried to reverse out of there, Carl had remained still. I tried and I tried, but he wouldn't budge at all. My attempts of shifting gears were utter failures. I attempted to call Cat, but I had a feeling that I would not be able to get a hold of him. I was right. I left a voicemail.

     So that evening, I spent the night in the car. Now, it wouldn't have been bad if it weren't for the fact that when I had fallen asleep and woken up two hours later, it was due to the alarming sound outside of my car; about forty feet away. There was a homeless man digging through the trash and creating a ruckus. After watching him go back and forth a couple of times, he disappeared behind a tree that was blocking my view. I looked around the tree multiple times, but he and his belongings were nowhere to be found. I was mortified. Was I going to awaken to him standing outside of my vehicle? Was he going to appear inside of my car? Was he an apparition?! My paranoia and questioning did not help me sleep for the next hour. As I tried my best to fall asleep, I kept hearing a thundering noise from the trashcan fifty feet behind me. No one was there. Had I gone insane? Probably.

     As I made my attempts to fall asleep, I had woken from slumber numerous times to the thundering trashcan. Each time with the sound creeping closer and closer to Carl. At 7:00 AM, Cat had called telling me he received my voicemail. When I explained to him that I was at the bottom of the hill, he rushed down to grab me. There was nothing we could do at the moment since a couple factors were hindering my repairs:

1. It was a Sunday. No auto shop in existence is open on Sundays.

2. It was Easter. If Sunday weren't enough, it was a holiday.

     So we just left Carl and decided to take care of him the following morning.

     As the day went on, I attended Easter Mass, grabbed brunch, went to my first nude beach, got dinner, and then hung out. That evening, I had fallen asleep on the couch while Cat, Sheep, and I were watching a movie. Out of nowhere I hear Michiko barking. I though nothing of it. The dog barks; it's what they do. Then I hear her yelping, as if someone had just beaten her. Just last week, someone had climbed over Cat's ledge, broke into their house, and took the keys to Bruce. I thought it was happening again; I thought that today was the day I was going to die. I was about to run down the hallway towards Cat and Sheep's room until I heard them outside scoping things out. My heart started to calm down a bit. Turns out it was just a opossum. Eff you opossum.

     What did we learn about these past two nights? I'm paranoid. That, and I'm sure Jesus was close by to shake my hand and welcome me to death. Readers, always have an adventure. Yes, you may face unappealing circumstances, but these are the ones that give you the most promising stories. It's experiences like these that help give life to your being.

     So here's to more adventures and experiences to come!




Sincerely,
An Asian

Today, I killed any chance I had of finding my Prince Charming.

     In celebration of the birth of one of my best friends, Cat decided to throw a joint birthday party with one of his friends in Saint D. So Panda and I had driven down to visit, help where we can, and enjoy the weekend with him.

     When we arrived, we helped him as much as we could setting up the mansion for the party. It got to the point that we couldn't continue because his friend had the decorations. So Panda and I had some time to run some errands while Cat's accomplice was on his way over. After we had completed our tasks, we realized that we hadn't eaten all day. There was a sushi spot across the street from Will's Goods and we decided to try it out. Not to mention the fact that we were starving, so I we didn’t have the patience to drive around and happen upon some amazing place.

     The food wasn’t too bad and I left the place still feeling hungry, but we needed to head back to the mansion so that we could help Cat finish decorating as well as getting ourselves ready for the party. Now, upon arrival, my stomach started to feel a little upset, but I thought nothing of it. To me, I just thought that it would tide over in a bit and I would feel like a million bucks by the time the party started. I was wrong.

     Normally, I eat a lot of food. Readers, if you are not aware, my stomach is the equivalent of two starving African villages; dare I say three. So when I denied eating food (really though, snacks; it was a gay party, gay men have stomachs the size of a stick child), I knew there was something wrong. It got to the point where Panda and I had to go in and take a nap because we are two old souls stuck in the bodies of twenty somethings.

     The beating sound of my alarm woke me and eventually, Panda had awakened from her slumber. But we had not gotten up; we just laid there. Next thing you know, somebody had barged into the room to use the bathroom. As soon as the bathroom door had closed, we had jumped out of bed and ran into the nearest closet, covering ourselves up with a giant comforter and awaited for the partygoer to leave our domain.

Panda: (whispering) Why are we hiding?

Asian: (whispering) Just because. Shhh. They're still in the bathroom.

Panda: No they're not. They left.

Asian: Yes he is. The toilet hasn't flushed yet.

Panda: Yes they did. I heard him leaving the bathroom.

Asian: Are you sure?

Panda: Yes.

     I peeked my head out of the comforter and sure enough, she was right. The mystery man had left the bathroom. How long ago, I'll we'll never know. With the coast being clear, I closed the door and jumped back up onto bed, stretching, with my wrist on top of the other, reaching for the head board. Panda, on the other hand, was at the side of the bed; talking to me with her hands on her hips. Next thing you know, three more guys had opened the door and examined the situation. Mind you, Panda is in all black leather with gothic make-up and her hair pulled back:

Gay 1: OMG! We're so sorry! We didn't know anybody was in here!

Gay 2: We're gonna leave now. We'll just find another bathroom.

Asian: Oh, NO! Use the bathroom! Nothing's happening here!

Panda: Yeah, we weren't doing anything!

Asian: Really, it's fine. Go ahead and use the bathroom.

Gay 1: Oh, ok. Thank you.

Gay 2: Buddy system! I'll just come in with you.

Gay 3: Ah! Oh! Ok... (door shuts) Ok. Yeah. I'll just sit out here. Awkwardly... (turns to us) Hey guys... So this party is great, huh?

     Yeah, it was probably the most pathetic attempt of conversation we've ever had. At this point, all we could hear people talking about was finding two people inside the bedroom. Basically, they just saw some BDSM going down. In which case, I had killed any chance I had of finding my Prince Charming. Every guy would come to think of me as a straight guy with some effeminate features. Just like the man from Guess Who whom everybody assumed was gay, but actually had a beautiful wife.

     You know, I've always told people that they shouldn't go searching for love; that love will eventually find them. Nope. Can't take my own advice. I am searching for that ball to run away from and leave behind a clue to help him find out who I am. The agonizing truth about love, it's not easy. Especially when your best friend is a girl and you do stupid stuff with each other and make everybody think that you're a couple. It's not easy.

     So what's my lesson, readers? Ultimately, don't give up on love. Even when people find you in a sexually compromising situation (that was never intended to look sexual). Here's to more adventures and experiences in the future.

Sincerely,

An Asian