Today, I started my journey.

     Leaving a place you call home is hard. I’ve had to do that twice now. Saying goodbye, packing, taking the memories with you; it’s bittersweet. It’s a constant battle of having to move on and wanting the heart to rest. I put my heart through so many emotions when I left Winterfell that leaving Storm’s End started to undo the stitches to those wounds. But I’ll be back! Absolutely!

The journey begins with a trip to The Staff of Flags.

     It was long. I was also very hot. The moment I would turn off the AC, it felt like my lovely 60 degree weather had elevated to 100. I just had to keep alternating and bearing through the tortuous burning sensations.

     When I had finally arrived, I met up with a friend and caught up. He was sick. So the conversation was cut short due to his body’s lack of energy. Curse you body! Then I headed out in search of a place to stay for the night. Normally, I would just stay in my car, but my lovely phone was on the brink of death and I needed it to give me an idea of how to drive up to The Canyon of Grandness. Also, it was mostly so that I could have an alarm wake me up. Readers, I don’t think you know this about me, but I don’t wake up. It’s virtually impossible. For some reason, though, an alarm can get through; most times…

     So I turned to one of the fancy applications my device has and searched for a cheap motel in the area. After perusing through a couple options, I finally decided on one: The Murder Motel. I kid you not, I felt like I was going to be in one of those B-rated horror films that nobody really knows about unless you’re into that stuff.

     First of all, when I followed the directions on my application, it led me to an abandon, run down building. It looked like a slaughter house. I checked and checked my application to see if I had arrived; I did. Now, I wasn’t about to just hop outside of my car and check out if it was it. No. That’s how you get murdered. After finally calming down from the shock of my impending death, I noticed the Murder Motel a hundred feet away. I drove in.

     When I jumped out of my car, I noticed the dimly lit, pastel blue façade. It felt very retro…and scary. Upon entering the lobby of the infrastructure, nobody was there to greet me in the dimly lit room. Pattern? I called out several times and nobody answered. Then I noticed a desktop that was turned on.

  

Was I supposed to sign myself in and pay online?

But then how would I receive the key?

Why is this computer making strange noises?!?!

    

So many unanswered questions.

     Finally, an Indian girl in her early to mid 20’s popped out from behind one of the doors and startled me:

MM Girl: (with an accent) Oh, hello! Sorry, have you been waiting long?

Asian: (quivering) Oh…no… Not too long…

MM Girl: I am very sorry again. What can I help you with?

Asian: I would like a room for tonight, please.

MM Girl: Ok. (typing) We have something available for thirty-five dollars not including tax.

Asian: Perfect! I’ll take it!

     When I finally got into my room. I started panicking. Not only did I feel like there was somebody outside waiting to shove me in and attempt to murder me, but I couldn’t see what horror awaited me inside the room. As I frantically searched for the light switch, I ran over to the lamp next to the bed and flicked it on. Then, I ran to the door and shut it tight.

     I slowly inspected the room: checked to see if the beds were raised, if there were any closets and if so what’s inside, the bathroom. At the end of my investigation, I deemed the area safe. Still, it was a very unsettling aura.

     As the night grew darker, the room felt colder. I attempted to turn on the heater that was in the room, but all it blew out was neutral to cold air. I tried setting it to seventy-six degrees, hoping that it would blow out hot air as I lay in slumber. After doing so, I got ready for bed and headed for possibly the warmest thing in this room. I was wrong. Not only were there only two layers of blankets, their blankets were bed sheets; if I could even call it that. At least my bed sheets back home gave me warmth, I was pretty sure the nice Indian girl drugged me and had me hallucinating that I was underneath sheets. Because all I was feeling was more cold air.

Sincerely,

An Asian

Today, I almost met Jesus.

     Ever since I learned to drive, I have always had the worst and best luck in owning all of my vehicles. My first car, Janice, was a saint. There was a time I had almost run out of gas when my friend and I were driving home from the movies and she was able to make it to the next gas station five miles away. Not to mention how I never got pulled over for driving eight to ten people in a five passenger car. Then there's Poseidon; he was a wreck. A trooper, but a wreck. From the moment I got him, I pointed out all the flaws to my parents and all they said was:

Big Mama: It's fine, anak. You're just overreacting.

Asian: Fine?! Ma! He dies on the road! Like, he just completely gives up on life and wants to die.

Big Mama: It's ok. If anything, we could always sell it later on and get a new car.

Asian: Uh, but the problem with that is that I'm going to get attached to the car no matter how bad he is and then when you tell me to sell it when it gets worse I'll say no! And be stubborn!

Big Mama: Nooooo.

Asian: Yes, ma, yes. It's going to happen. It always happens.

     Was I right? Of course I was! This is my car for goodness sake! And I know myself better than anyone; even my mother should have anticipated this. Poseidon has caused me so much strife I wouldn't even know where to begin. An example of his absolute failure was that during winter time, I did not breathe through my mouth, but through my nose. To do so would result in fogging up my windows. Turn the heater on you say? Well, I couldn't. Were I to do that, he would emit gaseous fumes that I'm pretty sure is toxic to the human body, if inhaled in excess. So your choices: freeze to death or suffer from gas inhalation. On top of which, driving him was a game of Life; the objective of the game is to make it to your destination without dying. These were among the many problems with him. But it gave him character. There are many stories from those that have experienced Poseidon's determination and they were experiences I would never trade. Now, I have Carl.

     I bought Carl as a means to fulfill my desire to travel across the state and discover all the wondrous things this place had to offer. It also gave me the opportunity to visit loved ones. A couple frequently visited loved ones I tend to see are Cat and Sheep in Saint D.

     Carl has been a very good car. He has pushed through from our journeys to Saint Jose and Saint Francis and even the laundry trips to Fanta. But on my last visit down, I was pretty sure he was a goner.

     My check engine light had turned on as I was making my way down. I thought nothing of it and thought of it as a reminder for me to go in and get my oil changed. Well, I had nearly made it to their place; at the base of the hill, to be exact. All of a sudden, Carl was having a hard time driving; he was revving up to 3000 rpm at 10 mph. It wasn't until I had made a wrong turn into a parking lot that when I tried to reverse out of there, Carl had remained still. I tried and I tried, but he wouldn't budge at all. My attempts of shifting gears were utter failures. I attempted to call Cat, but I had a feeling that I would not be able to get a hold of him. I was right. I left a voicemail.

     So that evening, I spent the night in the car. Now, it wouldn't have been bad if it weren't for the fact that when I had fallen asleep and woken up two hours later, it was due to the alarming sound outside of my car; about forty feet away. There was a homeless man digging through the trash and creating a ruckus. After watching him go back and forth a couple of times, he disappeared behind a tree that was blocking my view. I looked around the tree multiple times, but he and his belongings were nowhere to be found. I was mortified. Was I going to awaken to him standing outside of my vehicle? Was he going to appear inside of my car? Was he an apparition?! My paranoia and questioning did not help me sleep for the next hour. As I tried my best to fall asleep, I kept hearing a thundering noise from the trashcan fifty feet behind me. No one was there. Had I gone insane? Probably.

     As I made my attempts to fall asleep, I had woken from slumber numerous times to the thundering trashcan. Each time with the sound creeping closer and closer to Carl. At 7:00 AM, Cat had called telling me he received my voicemail. When I explained to him that I was at the bottom of the hill, he rushed down to grab me. There was nothing we could do at the moment since a couple factors were hindering my repairs:

1. It was a Sunday. No auto shop in existence is open on Sundays.

2. It was Easter. If Sunday weren't enough, it was a holiday.

     So we just left Carl and decided to take care of him the following morning.

     As the day went on, I attended Easter Mass, grabbed brunch, went to my first nude beach, got dinner, and then hung out. That evening, I had fallen asleep on the couch while Cat, Sheep, and I were watching a movie. Out of nowhere I hear Michiko barking. I though nothing of it. The dog barks; it's what they do. Then I hear her yelping, as if someone had just beaten her. Just last week, someone had climbed over Cat's ledge, broke into their house, and took the keys to Bruce. I thought it was happening again; I thought that today was the day I was going to die. I was about to run down the hallway towards Cat and Sheep's room until I heard them outside scoping things out. My heart started to calm down a bit. Turns out it was just a opossum. Eff you opossum.

     What did we learn about these past two nights? I'm paranoid. That, and I'm sure Jesus was close by to shake my hand and welcome me to death. Readers, always have an adventure. Yes, you may face unappealing circumstances, but these are the ones that give you the most promising stories. It's experiences like these that help give life to your being.

     So here's to more adventures and experiences to come!




Sincerely,
An Asian

Today, I killed any chance I had of finding my Prince Charming.

     In celebration of the birth of one of my best friends, Cat decided to throw a joint birthday party with one of his friends in Saint D. So Panda and I had driven down to visit, help where we can, and enjoy the weekend with him.

     When we arrived, we helped him as much as we could setting up the mansion for the party. It got to the point that we couldn't continue because his friend had the decorations. So Panda and I had some time to run some errands while Cat's accomplice was on his way over. After we had completed our tasks, we realized that we hadn't eaten all day. There was a sushi spot across the street from Will's Goods and we decided to try it out. Not to mention the fact that we were starving, so I we didn’t have the patience to drive around and happen upon some amazing place.

     The food wasn’t too bad and I left the place still feeling hungry, but we needed to head back to the mansion so that we could help Cat finish decorating as well as getting ourselves ready for the party. Now, upon arrival, my stomach started to feel a little upset, but I thought nothing of it. To me, I just thought that it would tide over in a bit and I would feel like a million bucks by the time the party started. I was wrong.

     Normally, I eat a lot of food. Readers, if you are not aware, my stomach is the equivalent of two starving African villages; dare I say three. So when I denied eating food (really though, snacks; it was a gay party, gay men have stomachs the size of a stick child), I knew there was something wrong. It got to the point where Panda and I had to go in and take a nap because we are two old souls stuck in the bodies of twenty somethings.

     The beating sound of my alarm woke me and eventually, Panda had awakened from her slumber. But we had not gotten up; we just laid there. Next thing you know, somebody had barged into the room to use the bathroom. As soon as the bathroom door had closed, we had jumped out of bed and ran into the nearest closet, covering ourselves up with a giant comforter and awaited for the partygoer to leave our domain.

Panda: (whispering) Why are we hiding?

Asian: (whispering) Just because. Shhh. They're still in the bathroom.

Panda: No they're not. They left.

Asian: Yes he is. The toilet hasn't flushed yet.

Panda: Yes they did. I heard him leaving the bathroom.

Asian: Are you sure?

Panda: Yes.

     I peeked my head out of the comforter and sure enough, she was right. The mystery man had left the bathroom. How long ago, I'll we'll never know. With the coast being clear, I closed the door and jumped back up onto bed, stretching, with my wrist on top of the other, reaching for the head board. Panda, on the other hand, was at the side of the bed; talking to me with her hands on her hips. Next thing you know, three more guys had opened the door and examined the situation. Mind you, Panda is in all black leather with gothic make-up and her hair pulled back:

Gay 1: OMG! We're so sorry! We didn't know anybody was in here!

Gay 2: We're gonna leave now. We'll just find another bathroom.

Asian: Oh, NO! Use the bathroom! Nothing's happening here!

Panda: Yeah, we weren't doing anything!

Asian: Really, it's fine. Go ahead and use the bathroom.

Gay 1: Oh, ok. Thank you.

Gay 2: Buddy system! I'll just come in with you.

Gay 3: Ah! Oh! Ok... (door shuts) Ok. Yeah. I'll just sit out here. Awkwardly... (turns to us) Hey guys... So this party is great, huh?

     Yeah, it was probably the most pathetic attempt of conversation we've ever had. At this point, all we could hear people talking about was finding two people inside the bedroom. Basically, they just saw some BDSM going down. In which case, I had killed any chance I had of finding my Prince Charming. Every guy would come to think of me as a straight guy with some effeminate features. Just like the man from Guess Who whom everybody assumed was gay, but actually had a beautiful wife.

     You know, I've always told people that they shouldn't go searching for love; that love will eventually find them. Nope. Can't take my own advice. I am searching for that ball to run away from and leave behind a clue to help him find out who I am. The agonizing truth about love, it's not easy. Especially when your best friend is a girl and you do stupid stuff with each other and make everybody think that you're a couple. It's not easy.

     So what's my lesson, readers? Ultimately, don't give up on love. Even when people find you in a sexually compromising situation (that was never intended to look sexual). Here's to more adventures and experiences in the future.

Sincerely,

An Asian

Today, I missed the warmest, most expensive experience.

     When I had arrived home from my Secret Santa, it was already two in the morning; I still hadn't packed. As a guy, you would think that all I needed to do was throw some clothes into my case. No. I actually take the time to think about my clothes and imagine how they pair with each other. There's the consideration of weather, places I'd likely visit, events, etc. If there is any grown man out there that does not take these into consideration, well good for you. You really know how to save time.

     So when I finally finished packing, I prepared the accessories; sweats, jacket, comfy scarf I received from Secret Santa, camera. Basically, the clothing that one would never to a tropical vacation. In the end, I had gone to sleep, woke up and preceded to go about the morning gathering my things and moving my car for the ten day getaway. Or so I thought.

     First of all, trying to find parking in Little Kimchi is the absolute worst. It is a war zone. And in this battlefield, people get left behind. There is no such thing as common courtesy; it is survival of the fittest. So I spent a good half hour trying to find parking when I had finally found the perfect spot; three blocks away from my place. Being so far away, I feared that I might forget where said car was and be struck with panic and anxiety as  to what my imagination had in store for me. But I sucked it up and walked away.

     As soon as I arrived home, I started to do little things; brush my teeth, double check things, eat a little, yada, yada, yada. By eight-thirty, we had left the apartment and were headed off to drop me off to my grand adventure.

     Driving down the roads, we just started talking and somehow we got to my plans for when I leave the country next year. Then it hit me. My passport. Of all the things I could have forgotten, I forgot my passport. At this point, it was nine-thirty, but we had to turn back around or else they would have never let me through. So we rushed back, I ran up the stairs injured, pulling my sweats up, and coughing. Scattered throughout my room to find the passport. Then ran back down, still pulling up my sweats, and still coughing phlegm. Not the best day ever. When Panda got back on the road again, we made it to the airport so much faster than our first attempt. It was ten-thirty and I ran into Kimchi Air and checked-in. At least, I tried to. I find out that they don't let people on international flights at certain times and close the check-ins. This may also apply to domestic flights, but I've never been late, so I don't know.

     I rushed back outside to try to call Panda and Officer K to come back and pick me up. I find out that only moved like a hundred-fifty feet. Traffic was so bad.

     On the drive back, I just felt so stupid. I started to daze off and eventually fell asleep. It wasn't until the ladies tortured me awake that I realized I was back home.

     Because of this debacle, it drained me of the will to move and do anything. I was pretty upset. But nothing made me more upset than having me jump between three companies for the next five to six hours. Long story short, Kimchi Air would let me fly standby only if Amayav approved. Then Amayav would only reschedule or let me fly standby if the Guardian of Travel approved it. In the end, the Guardian of Travel said I don't have a good enough reason that would qualify me for the insurance that we paid for.

     Readers, if you ever travel internationally, or even domestically, don't forget proper identification. You may miss a flight that way. Then have to spend five hours on a phone to discover that your insurance doesn't cover you at all. To more adventures and experiences to come!





Sincerely,
An Asian

Today, I was the joke.

     These past couple of days, I would call as a successful endeavor surprising all my loved ones. This of course has given me hope to surprise my mother for her special day; her birthday.

     There were only a few people that were aware of my appearance, but that was because I trusted them and needed them to help me with surprising my other friends as well. My surprises were endless, popping up unexpectedly, gathering a lunch with the help of an accomplice, texting people and talking about their schedules so I could pop in, and so on. Then the ultimate surprise of all, dinner.

     Just so you know, readers, I had bought my plane ticket back to Alaska in September. It is now November. The fact I haven't spilled this to everyone I care about means a whole lot to me. My restraint is very hard and always need somebody to talk to. Luckily, I had my little brother. He's been helping me plan this entire thing. I had him put in the reservations and I had him text me when our mother and stepdad got to the table.

     So here I was, slowly walking to the table. Not knowing what to say. Not knowing how surprised she'd be. Would she be jumping for joy? Would she crumble to tears? What was going to happen? This was all going on through my mind. And then it happened.

Asian: May I join you for dinner? (as I crouched behind her chair)

     She screamed a big smile and embraced me. My stepdad looked shocked. Indication. As I came around the table and sat down, my mother then said:

Big Mama: You know, I knew that you were in town.

     I was in shock...WHAT?!

Asian: WHAT?! How?!

Big Mama: Your Nanay told me. She emailed me earlier and said (in her filipino accent)

                            Anthony is going to surprise you. Is he there yet?

     I. had. died. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?! Why would she ruin this day for me?

Bonquiqui: You told Nanay?! Why would you do that?!

Asian: I don't know, because I thought I could trust her.

Big Mama: Well you can't. Not with any secret.

     My mother was right. For some reason, though, by impulse, I decided to tell my grandmother when she was here visiting my uncle for his birthday. I thought it'd be nice and make her feel included. I quickly learned my lesson. Never again.

     So what have I learned from this experience? You can't always trust the ones you love. Sometimes, a secret has to be a secret. Here's to my next surprise and the adventures awaiting ahead of me.





Sincerely
An Asian

Today, I almost became a murder mystery.

     The game known as love is not really a game. No. It is a war. A war that involves strategy and tactics. Though sometimes, there are some battles that you just don't want to be a part of. Tonight, I partook in a very elderly battle.

     So it's forty-five minutes till we "close" at work and I had one gentleman come in and sit at my bar; Table 5 to be exact. He's never been to the restaurant before so I give him the rundown. Me being me, I sometimes listen in on bits of conversation to keep myself entertained. Though, the only thing I got from their interaction was a series of one uppers and exchanging of age to justify a one upper.

     At the end of the night, Mr. Five and I were talking because he engaged me in some conversation. I eventually handed him his check and started to to do my final rounds with everyone else before I began my financials. At least, I thought I was going to begin them.

     With a finger, he had called me over to him and began to talk in a quivering tone:

Mr. Five: I have enjoyed my experience here so much and I wanted to thank you.

Asian: Oh, good. I'm glad. (as I nervously and hesitantly respond)

Mr. Five: You know, I've noticed you.

Asian: Really...? (nervously smiling)

Mr. Five: Yes, the way you talk to people. You just have a great way communicating and connecting with people.

Asian: Ha...ha... Well, thank you.

Mr. Five: You're welcome.

     At this point in time, it's felt like I've been here for hours, but only five minutes, at most, has passed. The conversation just kept getting worse.

Mr. Five: I like you.

Asian: A-o-oh...!

Mr. Five: There's just something about you that I like. I'm normally not attracted to men, but there's just something different about you.

     What's different about me? Are you assuming that I have a different genital part than I perceive to bare?

Asian: Ha...ha...thaaanks.........

Mr. Five: So...would you ever want to...do anything?

     I don't know if he noticed, but I'm pretty sure I felt my eyes widened. Which I believe is something you would notice on an Asian considering are slim eye line.

Asian: Um, well, you see, I'm sort of seeing somebody right now.

Mr. Five: Oh well, just so you know, I am a heterosexual. I have been my whole life. (he shows me his wedding ring and points at it) I have a wife and kids back home, but there's just something about you that has me interested in you.

     Why? Why is this happening to me?

Asian: ...oh...

Mr. Five: So you're seeing somebody...?

Asian: Yeah, I'm sort of seeing somebody.

     Like if saying it the first time wasn't evident enough. Also, it's not like I was lying to him, I am seeing somebody.

Mr. Five: So you wouldn't want to do anything with me?

Asian: Well, I was raised with the idea of monogamy, so that's something I take to heart.

Mr. Five: Oh, well, take this as a compliment. You are a very kind person, with a wonderful smile, and you have great intrapersonal communication. (pretty sure he meant "interpersonal") You really know how to make people feel comfortable and welcomed.

Asian: Thank...you...

Mr. Five: Well, if you ever want to do anything tonight, you know where I'm staying at.

     As we said our final goodbyes, I calmly walked back over to my manager and crumbled before her as I explained to her what I just endured.

Lamb: This is what you get. What you get for trying to go after guys that are NOT on your team!

     Sometimes, there are some battles people just don't want to be a part of. Friends have told me that I should expand my taste and actually go for guys older than me; they could take care of me, pay for me, and other things. But no. I am not fond of this idea. These are battles I will tactically sneak out of, for the rest of my life. Though, it'll come to the point where I'm too old to even have to try. Till that time comes, bring on the hot, YOUNG, SINGLE, line men. Or rainbow men. Y'know, whichever works. Here's to more hot adventures in the future!

Sincerely,

An Asian

Today, I survived.

     Growing up is not as glamorous and fantastic as you initially think when you're a kid. Actually, it's kind of the worst. You have to pay for bills, you have to work a job so that you have money to pay those bills, you find out that human society is a failing race, and a plethora of other reasons as to why growing up sucks. At the same time, maturing, not just our physical selves, but our mental state, is such a wonderful process.

     As I grow older, I realize how true the words from my parents' mouthes were: don't do that to your hair because you'll regret it later on, you have to do this so that you avoid this problem, yada yada yada. In a sense, maturing into adulthood is testing the abilities that we are supposed to have gained through the disgruntled cries and shouts of our parents' wisdom. I am happy to say that my sheltered childhood really did help me out in the end. I managed to survive a year on my own in the City of Nightmares, Storm's End, thanks to the teachings of my overbearing parents.

     Each stage of my life has become some sort of metamorphosis; the larval stage of my adolescence, the pudgy caterpillar in middle school, the brewing cocoon in high school, and the fabulous butterfly of college. Now, I've evolved even further. I know, you didn't think it was possible, right? But at some point in time, around the years of the dinosaurs, I'd like to believe that butterflies grew into the majestic Ptero-freaking-dactyl. Scientifically, I may be incorrect (for a fact, I know I am incorrect), but in the mind of the Asian, the butterfly turned into a pterodactyl.

     Like the larva, I was just born into the world, discovering what life was; learning the language, the colloquialisms, the good and bad, how to have fun. As I entered into my middle school years, the hungry hungry caterpillar fed off of people's ideas and sought friendship amongst the others. By high school, you would have thought that I became the butterfly; no. Rather, I was the cocoon still determining what I was going to pop out and become. Would I become the camo-fly that blended with it's surroundings or some colorful beast that pooped sprinkles and rainbows? Well, when I got to college, I transformed into the latter. I've discovered what I truly was meant to be, and I thought that the growing was over. No.

     Coming to Storm's End, I never realized how tough life was out here. It wasn't until I was transferred to Mount Beverly that I understood how much stronger I had to become. As each day passed from that godforsaken place, my fragrant wings and body turned into the fearsome pterodactyl. I became the bitch of all bitches, the Queen of Sass. And for once in my life, I could finally stand up for myself and say no. So this majestic flying beast gained what I was missing: a backbone.

     So have I changed while being out here? Yes. But I have changed for the better and accomplished a lot of the things I cam down here to do; be a part of a movie, take dance classes, grow as an artist, and most importantly, grow as a human being. My advice to you readers, go out there and explore the world. We only have one life to live and it's one of the best feelings to just go out there and lay yourself bare.

Sincerely,

An Asian