Big Mama: It's fine, anak. You're just overreacting.
Asian: Fine?! Ma! He dies on the road! Like, he just completely gives up on life and wants to die.
Big Mama: It's ok. If anything, we could always sell it later on and get a new car.
Asian: Uh, but the problem with that is that I'm going to get attached to the car no matter how bad he is and then when you tell me to sell it when it gets worse I'll say no! And be stubborn!
Big Mama: Nooooo.
Asian: Yes, ma, yes. It's going to happen. It always happens.
Was I right? Of course I was! This is my car for goodness sake! And I know myself better than anyone; even my mother should have anticipated this. Poseidon has caused me so much strife I wouldn't even know where to begin. An example of his absolute failure was that during winter time, I did not breathe through my mouth, but through my nose. To do so would result in fogging up my windows. Turn the heater on you say? Well, I couldn't. Were I to do that, he would emit gaseous fumes that I'm pretty sure is toxic to the human body, if inhaled in excess. So your choices: freeze to death or suffer from gas inhalation. On top of which, driving him was a game of Life; the objective of the game is to make it to your destination without dying. These were among the many problems with him. But it gave him character. There are many stories from those that have experienced Poseidon's determination and they were experiences I would never trade. Now, I have Carl.
I bought Carl as a means to fulfill my desire to travel across the state and discover all the wondrous things this place had to offer. It also gave me the opportunity to visit loved ones. A couple frequently visited loved ones I tend to see are Cat and Sheep in Saint D.
Carl has been a very good car. He has pushed through from our journeys to Saint Jose and Saint Francis and even the laundry trips to Fanta. But on my last visit down, I was pretty sure he was a goner.
My check engine light had turned on as I was making my way down. I thought nothing of it and thought of it as a reminder for me to go in and get my oil changed. Well, I had nearly made it to their place; at the base of the hill, to be exact. All of a sudden, Carl was having a hard time driving; he was revving up to 3000 rpm at 10 mph. It wasn't until I had made a wrong turn into a parking lot that when I tried to reverse out of there, Carl had remained still. I tried and I tried, but he wouldn't budge at all. My attempts of shifting gears were utter failures. I attempted to call Cat, but I had a feeling that I would not be able to get a hold of him. I was right. I left a voicemail.
So that evening, I spent the night in the car. Now, it wouldn't have been bad if it weren't for the fact that when I had fallen asleep and woken up two hours later, it was due to the alarming sound outside of my car; about forty feet away. There was a homeless man digging through the trash and creating a ruckus. After watching him go back and forth a couple of times, he disappeared behind a tree that was blocking my view. I looked around the tree multiple times, but he and his belongings were nowhere to be found. I was mortified. Was I going to awaken to him standing outside of my vehicle? Was he going to appear inside of my car? Was he an apparition?! My paranoia and questioning did not help me sleep for the next hour. As I tried my best to fall asleep, I kept hearing a thundering noise from the trashcan fifty feet behind me. No one was there. Had I gone insane? Probably.
As I made my attempts to fall asleep, I had woken from slumber numerous times to the thundering trashcan. Each time with the sound creeping closer and closer to Carl. At 7:00 AM, Cat had called telling me he received my voicemail. When I explained to him that I was at the bottom of the hill, he rushed down to grab me. There was nothing we could do at the moment since a couple factors were hindering my repairs:
1. It was a Sunday. No auto shop in existence is open on Sundays.
2. It was Easter. If Sunday weren't enough, it was a holiday.
So we just left Carl and decided to take care of him the following morning.
As the day went on, I attended Easter Mass, grabbed brunch, went to my first nude beach, got dinner, and then hung out. That evening, I had fallen asleep on the couch while Cat, Sheep, and I were watching a movie. Out of nowhere I hear Michiko barking. I though nothing of it. The dog barks; it's what they do. Then I hear her yelping, as if someone had just beaten her. Just last week, someone had climbed over Cat's ledge, broke into their house, and took the keys to Bruce. I thought it was happening again; I thought that today was the day I was going to die. I was about to run down the hallway towards Cat and Sheep's room until I heard them outside scoping things out. My heart started to calm down a bit. Turns out it was just a opossum. Eff you opossum.
What did we learn about these past two nights? I'm paranoid. That, and I'm sure Jesus was close by to shake my hand and welcome me to death. Readers, always have an adventure. Yes, you may face unappealing circumstances, but these are the ones that give you the most promising stories. It's experiences like these that help give life to your being.
So here's to more adventures and experiences to come!
Sincerely,
An Asian
