Today, I killed any chance I had of finding my Prince Charming.

     In celebration of the birth of one of my best friends, Cat decided to throw a joint birthday party with one of his friends in Saint D. So Panda and I had driven down to visit, help where we can, and enjoy the weekend with him.

     When we arrived, we helped him as much as we could setting up the mansion for the party. It got to the point that we couldn't continue because his friend had the decorations. So Panda and I had some time to run some errands while Cat's accomplice was on his way over. After we had completed our tasks, we realized that we hadn't eaten all day. There was a sushi spot across the street from Will's Goods and we decided to try it out. Not to mention the fact that we were starving, so I we didn’t have the patience to drive around and happen upon some amazing place.

     The food wasn’t too bad and I left the place still feeling hungry, but we needed to head back to the mansion so that we could help Cat finish decorating as well as getting ourselves ready for the party. Now, upon arrival, my stomach started to feel a little upset, but I thought nothing of it. To me, I just thought that it would tide over in a bit and I would feel like a million bucks by the time the party started. I was wrong.

     Normally, I eat a lot of food. Readers, if you are not aware, my stomach is the equivalent of two starving African villages; dare I say three. So when I denied eating food (really though, snacks; it was a gay party, gay men have stomachs the size of a stick child), I knew there was something wrong. It got to the point where Panda and I had to go in and take a nap because we are two old souls stuck in the bodies of twenty somethings.

     The beating sound of my alarm woke me and eventually, Panda had awakened from her slumber. But we had not gotten up; we just laid there. Next thing you know, somebody had barged into the room to use the bathroom. As soon as the bathroom door had closed, we had jumped out of bed and ran into the nearest closet, covering ourselves up with a giant comforter and awaited for the partygoer to leave our domain.

Panda: (whispering) Why are we hiding?

Asian: (whispering) Just because. Shhh. They're still in the bathroom.

Panda: No they're not. They left.

Asian: Yes he is. The toilet hasn't flushed yet.

Panda: Yes they did. I heard him leaving the bathroom.

Asian: Are you sure?

Panda: Yes.

     I peeked my head out of the comforter and sure enough, she was right. The mystery man had left the bathroom. How long ago, I'll we'll never know. With the coast being clear, I closed the door and jumped back up onto bed, stretching, with my wrist on top of the other, reaching for the head board. Panda, on the other hand, was at the side of the bed; talking to me with her hands on her hips. Next thing you know, three more guys had opened the door and examined the situation. Mind you, Panda is in all black leather with gothic make-up and her hair pulled back:

Gay 1: OMG! We're so sorry! We didn't know anybody was in here!

Gay 2: We're gonna leave now. We'll just find another bathroom.

Asian: Oh, NO! Use the bathroom! Nothing's happening here!

Panda: Yeah, we weren't doing anything!

Asian: Really, it's fine. Go ahead and use the bathroom.

Gay 1: Oh, ok. Thank you.

Gay 2: Buddy system! I'll just come in with you.

Gay 3: Ah! Oh! Ok... (door shuts) Ok. Yeah. I'll just sit out here. Awkwardly... (turns to us) Hey guys... So this party is great, huh?

     Yeah, it was probably the most pathetic attempt of conversation we've ever had. At this point, all we could hear people talking about was finding two people inside the bedroom. Basically, they just saw some BDSM going down. In which case, I had killed any chance I had of finding my Prince Charming. Every guy would come to think of me as a straight guy with some effeminate features. Just like the man from Guess Who whom everybody assumed was gay, but actually had a beautiful wife.

     You know, I've always told people that they shouldn't go searching for love; that love will eventually find them. Nope. Can't take my own advice. I am searching for that ball to run away from and leave behind a clue to help him find out who I am. The agonizing truth about love, it's not easy. Especially when your best friend is a girl and you do stupid stuff with each other and make everybody think that you're a couple. It's not easy.

     So what's my lesson, readers? Ultimately, don't give up on love. Even when people find you in a sexually compromising situation (that was never intended to look sexual). Here's to more adventures and experiences in the future.

Sincerely,

An Asian