Today, I was denied access.

     It was a very eventful day. Firstly, there was a torrential rainstorm pouring down upon Storm's End; it was spectacular! I had about thirty minutes until my headshot session, so Panda and I decided to get pho at a sketchy pho place; though, we apparently ordered the only item that was not pho (sorry we can't read Vietnamese?). Then we ran around the entire circumference of the building, only to find out that the entry way to my session was literally next door to the sketchy pho place. We were soaking wet. Like, my clothes were damp and my hair was so wet that I should have brought shampoo and conditioner to take a second shower. After that, we headed over to my job to attempt to pick-up my paycheck. Yay money! Here's where our story begins.

     It's about eleven-thirty (they just opened) and I told Panda that my check wouldn't be in yet.

Panda: Still, just go inside and check.

Asian: No. Last time, I got my check at like one, remember?

Panda: Still, it doesn't hurt to check.

     So we go in and try to receive my money. But, to no avail, I had failed.

Asian: Told you.

     With how much time we had to kill, we decided to go over to the mall and check out Victor's Rumor. We spent a good chunk of time looking at bras and deciding what bra would look best for Panda. As we're walking around the store, I notice one of the older employees testing what seemed to be a new recruit and giving advice on how to sell their merchandise. When we move over to the another sector of the store, we got pounced by the new recruit. Now, imagine the sound of her voice to be dull, overbearing, and having the sense of instilling the information she just learned:

Desperate: Hi, how are you doing?

Panda: Hi...I'm doing good...

     We attempted to walk away.

Desperate: Did you need help with anything today?

Panda: Oh, I'm fine. Just looking around the store.

     We attempted to walk away, again, but this girl was on us like a vulture; she wouldn't leave us alone.

Desperate: Oh... Did you hear about our new line of jean undergarments?

Panda: No... I -

Desperate: If you follow me, they're right over here.

     Basically, she wasn't giving us a choice to go venture around the store. Instead, she dragged us along to the jean print bras and underwear, even though Panda was clearly not interested.

Desperate: So we have our exclusive line of jean print bras and underwear that look great with any clothes. You can wear it just as a strapless bra, blah, blah, blah.

     I'm not gonna lie, I zoned out. Not only did I start my day off by waking up at seven-thirty, but she was boring me with her information. She didn't attempt to make it personal. Plus, is you know Panda, you would know that she's a curvier girl. In other words, she knows that she would NEVER wear just a bra as her everyday garment. So the fact that she didn't take into consideration Panda's needs just had me spacing out on her one hour powerpoint lecture.

Desperate: What bra size are you?

Panda: Oh... Um, thirty-six D.

Desperate: Ok, let me pull this out for you.

Panda: ............

Desperate: Alright, let's go get you a fitting room.

Panda: Actually, I wanted to look around a bit more.

Desperate: Oh, ok. Just let me know when you're ready.

     As we start to walk away:

Desperate: I'm Desperate by the way.

Panda: Oh, nice to meet you.

     We tried to get away, again:

Desperate: What's your name?

Panda: Panda.

Desperate: Nice to meet you, Panda. I'll help you get a fitting room when you're ready.

     We had finally gotten away. As we walked around the sector we were trying to look at, we discussed how desperate and overbearing she was and how she was not that personable. After we decided on what bras we wanted her to try on, we went to the dressing room area to see the sexiness that is Victor's Rumor.

Panda: Are you coming in?

Asian: I don't know. Do you want me to?

Panda:  Yeah, sure. Whatever. I don't care.

Asian: K. I'm coming in.

     As I inched past the archway and headed to the fitting room, Desperate had stopped me.

Desperate: Oh, um, you can't go in there.

Asian: Um, what? Why?

Desperate: Um, you just can't. Our store doesn't allow that.

     To be honest, I was too tired to fight her. But honestly, I have never seen a gay man be denied to go in and see his girl friend try on her bra. Apparently, I'm too straight and we look like a couple. Dear lord. Though, I'm not gonna lie, readers, it made me feel good about myself. It's something I can't really explain, but I took pride in her denying me access. I was mad, but I still took pride.

     After that whole debacle, we went off to get macarons and buy me some oreos before I went to pick up my check.

     If there was anything I learned from today, it's that I seem like a straight guy. So ladies, if you ever find yourself in times of trouble and need an out, I am here for you; I will be your pretend boyfriend. Just don't kiss me. Or attempt to grab me in places. I will leave you for dead.

     Here's to more future experiences and adventures.



Sincerely,
An Asian