My day started off with me going to bed at 2:30 AM when I was fully aware that I needed to get up by 8:30 AM. When you get to know me, you realize that I am never the early bird that catches the worm. No, I'm the bird who hopes to heaven above that there is at least a small morsel of a worm left! Sometimes, I feel like I am a vampire; always doing things in the dark, going to sleep LATE, never getting up "early", feeling drowsy when the sun is out. In which case, why I chose to live in Los Angeles is a mystery to me since there is no hiding from the sun...it's always out...ALWAYS! Anyway, I stayed up that late because Megan (but she will be further known as Panda) and I could not for the life of us just get up to lie down next to each other to show each other people we adored and laughed at on Tinder (a social dating app that is ridiculously addicting. Not for the meeting and greeting; for the "swiping"). Seriously, we are literally SIX FEET away from each other and all we did was screenshot and text each other...we were pathetic...ANYWAY! The point of the story is: I got up at 9:15 instead and needed to be ready before 9:30 so that we could get to an adventurous library (I'm not kidding) by 10...Panda still needed to take a shower and get ready as well... Then she received a text from a new, lovely friend: Luxembourg.
Panda: Hey, Lux just texted me and asked if we wanted to be on a featured film? We'd get credit.
Asian: Hmmm...but what about Philly?
Philly was also supposed to join us on this grand adventure to the magical library, but only had a limited time because of an audition. So we asked Luxembourg if it was alright to bring him along and she told us:
Luxembourg: The more the merrier!
So, we asked. The sad (but good on his part) thing was that he didn't want to chance it with his audition.
Philly: Is it a paying gig?
Panda: No...but you get credit!
Philly: Then definitely not.
Starting out as a struggling artist sucks. You don't really have all that much money, you're depending on a craft that'll never guarantee you sustainable expenses for living, you don't have that much stuff when starting out (clothes, household items, etc), and you jump on any production you can so that you can make connections, get credit, and boost your resumé. In other words: my life.
Even though Philly couldn't go, Panda and I still decided to go. We were rushing, getting things ready, pulling the little stuff we had in our closet to fit the characters they potentially needed, blah blah blah. Another I regret doing was not buying or bringing down an ironing board (for reals). No where in this apartment can you find a board; not even in our laundry room. So what do I use instead to iron my button-up you may be wondering? The kitchen countertop. I did wipe it down though before I started ironing to avoid any lovely food items to attach itself onto my white clothing. Then we drove to Hollywood.
Now, driving to Hollywood is probably one of the biggest mistakes. First of all, driving here is ridiculous:
1. No one knows how to drive. Back home, traffic slowed down because of an accident or someone's pulled over or some legitimate excuse (year round construction -_-). Here, there is literally no reason as to why people drive slow. They. Just. Do. They also don't understand how to merge or stop/go on an all-way stop.
2. Pedestrians are notoriously slow and stupid. I don't know why people insist on walking at the pace of a snail. Speed walk across. Is it really that hard? Also, crossing on red (for the pedestrian) and the car clearly has the right of way to turn equals a no-no. Yet, pedestrians here get angry and glare at the drivers; not the driver's fault. Ding dong, you're wrong, read a book! Oh, and let's not forget the shameless walking in the middle of the road and not budging one bit. It's like people ask to get run over here.
3. NO PARKING. Oh. My. God...it is virtually impossible to find a spot. Nothing is for free here, on top of which, parking is expensive; if you can find one! One thing I've learned while previously living in LA is that you need to give yourself an extra 30 min at least just to find parking. Why? Because you may end up parking 3 blocks away from where you need to be.
What's so bad about us driving is that we could have taken the metro for cheaper (since we wouldn't have to worry about the gas) and gotten us there in a shorter amount of time. We were not thinking straight. Then we arrived.
It was a very lovely studio and the director was very kind. He was really excited that we came to fill in for the extras that never showed up. Everything seemed cool at first, but things started to go downhill afterward.
First, we didn't start on time. All theatre companies/sets I've worked for/on have always been punctual. If anything, we would start at the most 5 min late. Not this case! We started our filming 2 hrs before we were told that we would be done.
Second, there was no structure. There was a list of shots that needed to be taken, but no vision as to how the shot was to be executed. Everything was made up on the spot and actors were waiting for when it was their turn to be filmed. Some of us slept. We got in a good 15 min nap ON SET. And then, they didn't even shoot some of the dialogues that were supposed to happen in the scene.
Third, we didn't know who was AD. The director was acting in the film as well, so it was obvious that he could only do x amount of directing. So obviously this is where the Assistant Director comes in, right? Only half right. There were so many people playing director that you didn't know who to listen. Contradictions were flying around everywhere and it got to the point that some of us just stopped listening. There were some moments you thought one person was AD, then it was another.
Lastly, it didn't seem like the crew knew what they were doing. Never have I seen a crew move and disrupt equipment as much as I did today. The sound boom operator was never aware of their surroundings, so they knocked something out of place offstage and nearly took out an actor with a light fixture (scoop) since it was clamped on to a bar by resistance. Then, the techies for some reason would always try to sneak around a light boom when it was very clear that there was NOT enough space for them to go through. On top of which, they would never carefully look where they were going and knock it out of place.
Don't get me wrong. The director was really nice and I enjoyed working with him. He was very gracious for having Panda and I join last minute. The process was just hell. This was definitely a good experience though. It gave me another perspective of how film productions could be run.
Now, while on the set, one thing I regretted not doing was being a "Show Boy", at the same time, I was perfectly content. The thing is, I was offered a role that would let me be a featured a bit more. Problem: I don't have a good enough body. The stupidity: The person who got my role had an even worse body. It was also very painful to watch him move because he doesn't know how to use his body! The character is supposed to seductive and sexy. He moved like a bag of meat. Take a dance class!
Finally, I have gotten into this groove of cooking. Since moving here, I've made some pretty awesome meals (except the diarrhea pasta; never again 99¢ store!). Now, when you get to know me, you find out that I am a fat ass. I. Love. To. Eat. If all I could do was eat and not gain weight (and lose money), that's what I would do for the rest of my life. Anyway, I have determined that if I want to save money, I need to make sure that I have leftover food. In other words, I have to watch what I eat. What most people don't understand is that when I eat, I eat an amount that can feed a malnourished African Village. It isn't healthy. This is one of the many reasons I have Miss Coco, Miss Nut, and Tubby Tina.
I wanted an adventure in LA. Lord knows I'm having one. What will life throw at me next?
Sincerely,
An Asian
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| Ironing on the kitchen countertop...the struggles of being an actor... |
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